Strange Fact- Woman in Film

Women directors have been nominated for an Oscar 4 times in the past 85 years. Since there are less women directors the bar ends up being raised. A man creates a film that flops that okay there are other men. A women creates a film that leaks money it is a grievance on all Women as creative directors because the pool is smaller. According to an article published by Huffington Post in October women make up only 18% of all key behind the scenes roles in Hollywood. How can in expect to create movies that fairly represent women if these movies are shot and written by men? Well we can't. In 2013 64% of the top grossing movies starred male leads, 14% female leads, and 22% ensemble casts (Huffington Post).  I want to work in film. I dream, I strive, I aspire to work in film.  I have a job currently, a production assistant at a small film production company- FiveCore Media. My first couple months working there I was one of two female employees. There were  3 male employees excluding our male boss. I was lucky to be part of a nearly evenly split, unorthodox in the industry, work space. Yet I still felt the need to prove myself. Was it because I entered the work environment conscious of my sex's dismal sample? It had to have been. I would have no other reason for feeling that I had to work harder and take on more shifts than my male counterparts. I was especially aware of this during strike (tearing down a shoot). Film equipment can be heavy and I was prone to attempting to carry the most not out of an inner call of discipleship but because if I didn't I feared it would be assumed I couldn't. In an industry where there are very few women film decisions are not critiqued  as artistic choices but as capabilities.
A book I read within the last year had an essay on the competitiveness of women. It said that while women were competitive with each other and would contend for the highest position in the work force that spirit of competition did not often extend to the men they worked with. It is hard for me to accept that I am still being judged on a criteria separate from that of men. A criteria that questions capability.